Wednesday, March 07, 2012

"AXED PAT"


An excerpt from my novella in progress, "Axed Pat", published by Attitude Magazine (Issue 216, April 2012). Many thanks to Will Davis and Eoin Coveney.

When I have news of "Axed Pat", I will post it here.

Few publishers like novellas: they favour novels and think that novellas are less 'serious'. This is a huge intellectual mistake, and one probably borne of literary vanity and tradition. Novellas can become a trilogy, as has happened many times.  

Frankly, a shorter book that skips along is more memorable (and entertaining) than an arduous plod of prose that grows turgid as the writer battles to hit the 400-page deadline. (There are many of those.) Rather, it is because his/her publishers have stipulated that only that may constitute a novel.

I believe the aim is quality -- not being a Word Count Queen.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

'Autofellatio' wins Polari First Book Prize


TIME OUT, LONDON. 
22 NOVEMBER


The winner of the Polari First Book Prize was announced at last night’s raucous Polari literary salon’s fourth birthday party at the Southbank Centre, with the inaugural prize going to James Maker’s self published ebook ‘Autofellatio’. Paul Burston, Time Out’s very own Gay & Lesbian Editor who hosted the award, said ‘The judges felt that ‘Autofellatio’ stood out with its humour, honesty and heartfelt exploration of British queer life over the last 30 years. It deals with the hardships of growing up gay in a way that is witty, endlessly quotable and, above all, brave.’ James Maker urges all aspiring writers and novelists to ‘do it yourself, go out there and promote your work through Spoken Word. Anything might happen.’

Friday, September 23, 2011

Amazon: Friday 23 September

Delighted to see that 'Autofellatio' is currently at #1 in Amazon's Biography (Gay & Lesbian) book charts.



'Autofellatio' review: The Independent

Review of 'Autofellatio' by the indomitable Julie Burchill in The Independent.
'The pure joy of James Maker's bouquet of barbs.'

Thursday, September 22, 2011

'Autofellatio' (Paperback) Update

The book is now available through Waterstones online.

Launch party tonight, Thursday 22nd September at the Soho Arts Club in Frith Street from 7:00pm onwards.


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Polari First Book Prize

'Autofellatio' has been nominated for the Polari Book Prize shortlist.
Also link from The Bookseller.



Saturday, September 17, 2011

'Autofellatio' (Paperback) Update

The book is now in stock and available at Gay's The Word bookshop in Bloomsbury, London and also for sale through Prowler stores with branches in Soho, Birmingham and Brighton.

Online through BIFfib Books, Amazon UK, Amazon US, Amazon Germany, Amazon France and Barnes and Noble.

Saturday, September 03, 2011

'Autofellatio' (Paperback)


'Autofellatio' is now available in paperback for pre-order direct from BIGfib Books.

"Bloody Brilliant" -
JULIE BURCHILL



"Glitteringly epigrammatic, it's a glam-rock Naked Civil Servant in court shoes. But funnier. And tougher" -
MARK SIMPSON



"Pistol sharp, loaded with witty one-liners and peppered with Maker's scatter gun observations on life, music and the meaning of good hair" -
PAUL BURSTON


UK: http://www.bigfib.com/bfb-uk.html


Eurozone: http://www.bigfib.com/bfb-euro.html


USA/World: http://www.bigfib.com/bfb-usa.html

Monday, April 25, 2011

Appearance at Duckie @ The RVT.




























I'll be 'reading' from a chapter of Autofellatio, Elephant & Castle Boot Girls, at Duckie @ The RVT 
on Saturday, 14th May. 21:00 - 02:00.

Hosted by Amy Lamé, with Disc Jockeys The Readers Wifes.

372 Kennington Lane, SE11. Nearest tube: Vauxhall

See website for details.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Autofellatio



The updated edition of my memoir, Autofellatio, which brings us to the present day, is now on sale at Amazon.com (US customers, $2.99) and Amazon.co.uk (1.71 GBP.


It is downloadable in a variety of formats: Kindle, iPad, iPhone, Android and Blackberry. Also available as Kindle for PC and MAC (to read on your computer, free application download on the book page).


In the more 'orthodox', and shrinking publishing world, writers, and especially unknown writers, now have a new platform from which to put out their work. Now, you can do it yourself. DIY, which for me, as a teenager during London's Punk era, is natural.
As for publicising your book, small, independent publishing houses do not furnish one with a PR team, in any case, and expect their authors to do all the 'donkey work', while taking 90% profits.


I see the ebook revolution as both democratic and empowering. Moreover, it has enabled me to 'give birth' to this particular baby, and move forwards with another project. Self-publishing for the first-timer can be fraught: you are the editor, the proofreader, the cover designer and co-publisher. It's a new frontier, but it means that books that fall into a 'niche market' -- which today means anything that will not automatically sell many thousands of copies -- may now be available and read. 

amazon.co.uk
amazon.com

Monday, September 20, 2010

Guest Appearance in David Hoyle's "Slurry" at the RVT, London.

Reading an extract chapter from Autofellatio: The Faux-Suede Parlour of Maitresse Desclaves

"Polari Goes Pope" at the Southbank Centre, London.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

"Autofellatio" now available at Amazon

The first volume of my autobiography, "Autofellatio", is now available at Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com for worldwide sales.
At the time of writing it is at #1 in the Amazon Kindle book charts, Biography & Memoir section.

It is available in various formats: Kindle, Kindle for PC (to read on your computer), Kindle for Mac, IPhone, IPad, Android and Blackberry.

The second volume will be published Autumn/Winter 2010.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

vanity fair: more gore than vidal



In the February edition of Vanity Fair the British-American author and polemicist Christopher Hitchens writes a piece on his former idol Gore Vidal, titled Vidal Loco. Anybody unacquainted with Christopher Hitchens -- who has debated triumphantly in the town halls of Pennsylvania and once had an epiphany in the middle of Wisconsin (doubly remarkable) -- can read a potted biog here.

I applaud Hitchens' anti-monotheism, his call for the end of the War on Drugs and his unapologetic alcoholism ("I drink because it makes other people less boring") -- which is the last heroic impulse if you're on the Eastern Seaboard of America -- but this graceless dismantling of his former colleague is as squalid as a cut-price handbag stall in an East End market. Once described as Vidal's dauphin and natural successor, the love affair between star and understudy ended in the aftermath of 9/11 when the former expressed the view that there is no proven evidence that Osama Bin Laden was the James Bond-style villain-architect of that catastrophe, and further that the American administration itself might have been implicated. Hitchens was a committed socialist whom effectively metamorphosed into a right-wing libertarian when he U-turned in swing-support towards aggressive, interventionist US foreign policy. Personally, I always thought that a neo-con was a socialist who got mugged.

He derides Vidal in a surprisingly bovine exposé of the decline from literary Leviathan to deluded  conspiracy theorist and Cassandra of the Republican Empire. Poor Gore, now an octogenarian with mobility problems, is an enemy of the Homeland who must be dispatched to Golgotha. It is a pernicious  and ultimate fan letter that only a true fan can compose. Hitchens may have eventually advanced to the salon of the New York cultural elite, but Vidal has spent most of his life around the upper classes of American society and if anyone is permitted to hint that the Senate does not really govern  the state, it is he. However, tellingly, his true pique is at Vidal's "very, very minor tendency to bring up the Jewish question in contexts where it didn’t quite belong". This may well be true but it does not amount necessarily to anti-Semitism. Hitchens zealously grasps at the tendril of being Jewish himself, which is understandable -- many Gentiles have coveted that claim.

While Hitchens acknowledges his mentor in some memorably dismissive quotes ("England is not a country, but an American aircraft carrier") he reaffirms his trenchant rejection of the Old Girl whom, evidently, he hopes will read this undignified execution with the words: "I have no wish to commit literary patricide, or to assassinate Vidal’s character — a character which appears, in any case, to have committed suicide."

Rather transparently, Hitchens reveals himself as Eve Harrington to Vidal's Margot Channing in All About Eve: the age-old conquest of the younger, somewhat less original ingénue who turns, viciously, against the one they cherished.

Mark Simpson interview with Gore Vidal: Gore Vidal Turns Off The Lights On The American Dream

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

quentin crisp: the mother ship

The British writer, author, commentator and absent grandfather of metrosexualité Mark Simpson has written an illuminating and -- to my mind -- very accurate psycho-bio on the pathology of England's most stateliest homo, Quentin Crisp. The blog entry can be read here. It is titled Quentin Crisp and Hurtian Crisp and delineates the difference between the real doyenne of the Black Cat Café and Hurt's portrayal of his sister-in-crime.

Hurt is heterosexual and brought a certain sexual charge to his depiction of Crisp in The Naked Civil Servant, in the the same way that Terence Stamp was unforgettable in his role of the transsexual, retired performer in Priscilla: Queen of the Desert. Hurt confers a virility on Crisp that simply was not present in its real-life owner. He strides gaily through the streets of Bloomsbury, overburdened by bon-mots crafted  through years of self-internment, advertising his actuality to bystanders on suburban station platforms.  Tossing a slipper into the face of 1930s convention, Crisp is Genet in deeply mauve eye-shadow. One warms to him. But the Painted Sultana of Sodom had little to do with sodomy, or even sex. Crisp was determinedly "the only gay in the village" until the 1960s undid him. A living sculpture of high narcissism,  the scale of his emotional ruthlessness and detachment was boundless. Crisp would have survived even in ancient Rome. His unsentimentality sometimes ran to the cruel and the exotic. I think he was right about many things but his 'truisms' were also firmly implanted in the life lead unshared; a life that gave not an inch to either commitment nor compromise. And  a sink piling up with unwashed dishes that had reached the 'fish stage'.

Quentin Crisp was a Mother Ship to many British homosexuals in the 1970s who saw his biopic, The Naked Civil Servant, and in it the  reflection of their own circumstantial isolation at a time that neither understood nor barely tolerated homosexuality. It was the fiesta of a rouged passeggiata through the post and pre-war years of a bombed London.  His autobiography is fairly well written if sometimes exhaustive in the repetition of its daily, domestic accounts. The life-philosophy is grandiose and Wildean yet expounded within the small, amethyst cell of a slovenly, bath-robed typist who refuses to dust. That is not a pejorative term -- the internet has claimed us all as shorthand typists.

Crisp was an exhibitionist. An exhibitionist is not interested in group activity or collectivism -- his existence, his oxygen depends upon the uninterrupted monologue and an enraptured audience that is amused and shocked. Anyone with a flair for after-dinner entertainment knows this. Crisp allied himself with nobody. I don't think he would have been comfortable with metrosexuality, which would have robbed him of his martyrdom. Nor may the legalisation of homosexuality (and all the unisex hair salons that sprang up around it) have necessarily been good news,  de-throning him of his unique status. He needn't have worried -- Crisp went on to outlive a great many people who were born fifty years after he first over-buttered toast.
They really could have done with him in the Army -- his survival skills were second-to-none.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

david hoyle: on the viennese couch





This is a short film made by Nathan Evans of the artist, painter and political activist David Hoyle having an informal yet intimate discussion with several guests about life themes -- including abuse, obsession, self-validation and how our history informs the inter-personal relationship we have ourselves and the outer world. This is first-class television. The interviewer enters into a truthful, non-judgmental dialogue with his guests -- willingly shifting his own viewpoint or opinion according to a received idea where he discovers mutuality. Sharing, in other words.  The interview format is now exclusively the exploitation of commercial product together with the promotion of the celebrity -- unrelated in any way to the purpose of a conversational exchange.

There are some real key moments here. The interviewee who openly admits that his mother was an homeless alcoholic of several years that lived in a telephone box -- quite an admission of honesty and a rejection of sentimentality that is stoic and inspirational. The woman who uncovers the tactics of certain therapists, stating: "I think that when somebody begins to chip away at your psychological strength, it's very easy to fall into a place of blaming yourself." Very true. And the young man who avoids "other people" yet discards his shoes, making himself entirely comfy on the couch in his apparently sociopathic, stockinged feet.

If only television was like this.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

salvador dalí



This is Salvador Dalí starring in a French commercial for Lanvin chocolate in 1968. "Je suis fou du chocolat Lanvin!" Rather than seducing the audience with the brand, the approach here is instead to assault the viewer with a short but memorable pop/surrealist film.  Once you put Dalí in the frame it ceases to be about the product anyway. Angular, violent and staccato I cannot imagine this commercial appealing to French children -- there is something of the child-catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang about Dalí's appearance. Like Warhol he was an eccentric  celebrity whose artistic repertoire was expansive: films, photography, sculpture, fashion and television. An eccentric he was: in his early life Dalí was disinherited by his family when he refused to recant the inscription of a drawing he exhibited in Paris of The Sacred Heart of Jesus with the words:  

"Sometimes I spit for fun on my mother's portrait!"

Quite. He later claimed that he gave his father a condom filled with his own sperm and said, "Take that. I owe you nothing anymore!"

Although highly respected as a painter he was intensely disliked by some people for his attention-seeking egoism. Notably George Orwell who criticised Dalí for fleeing Spain at the outset of the Civil War, dismayed at his shifting political allegiance from communist and anarchist to that of franquista. But Orwell's socialism gave us nothing but dystopia,  hessian that irritated incessantly and a colour spectrum that precluded anything beyond a state symphony of grise. Communism could never have suited Dalí: he was too unharnessed, luxuriant and original in his appetites. It is said that an increasingly devout and catholic Dalí sent Franco telegrams in congratulation  on the signing of death warrants for imprisoned Republican fighters who had killed thousands of priests and nuns. The clergy was construed as essential allies to the Church, the Establishment and El Caudillo and the anti-monarchists wanted to purge Spain of its clericalism. Whether these were  fan letters or the manifestation of a dark and surrealist whimsicality is difficult to know.

Conversely, Dalí continued to praise the poet and dramatist Federico García Lorca -- who was openly homosexual -- when the latter's works were banned by the dictator's Falangist regime prior to his assassination in 1936 and not rescinded until many years later.
Lorca was also touched by a certain eccentricity according to the Argentinian writer Jorge Luis Borges who recounted a meeting with the former in Buenos Aires at which he was left unimpressed. Apparently, Lorca repeatedly communicated his concern to Borges that a dominant figure in American life for him symbolised that culture's tragedy, if not downfall. And the figure ? Mickey Mouse. A visionary in early 20th century Spanish literature  and theatre, Lorca was obsessed and perturbed by Mickey Mouse.
That isn't surrealism, it's prophecy: Disneyfication.

Dalí was a genius, an enigma and an ungovernable octopus of contradictions who represents a nightmare to any biographer wishing to separate fiction from non-fiction. I do not think that Dalí was either capable -- nor interested -- in making such a pedestrian distinction in life. His realm was not simply fantasy, but the fantastical.
Certainly, he has shocked many people and even my eyebrows were raised at learning that during the late 1960s Dalí had an association with Brian Sewell.

Brian Sewell is a British art critic known for his conservatism, controversiality and outright rejection of political correctness. He once quoted that "only men are capable of aesthetic greatness" -- claiming that in women the desire to bear children transplants the desire to create exceptional art. More compelling are his adenoids coupled with a diction that makes The Queen sound like a Cockney flower girl. In his documentary, Dirty Dalí, Sewell states that he had a sexual affair with the painter that lasted over four summers. The "mutual confessional" as he puts it -- which is a quasi-religious, homophobic metaphor for sex -- consisted of Sewell laying on the ground, in a foetal position under the armpit of a figure of Christ, masturbating for the Master. Well, what's the point of being an artist if you can't construct and design your own pornography ? Surely, it's one of the few perks. What surprised me was not that Dalí excited himself while taking photographs of this improbable, Renaissance tableau but rather that he should stand over Brian Sewell while executing it. Referring to Dalí's continuing disappointment that Lorca was unable to penetrate him during the 1920s Sewell states:

"I observed that as some arseholes are tight enough to make emptying the bowels almost impossible, proper medical remedies have been devised and the following year took him the very instrument -- gift-wrapped as it were -- from John Bell & Croyden in Wigmore Street. An anal dilator. Dalí chuckled over it."

This is why I like Brian Sewell. He might be acerbic and anti-populist in his appraisal of conceptual and post-modernist art but he is never less than unpretentious and searingly truthful within the frame of his own viewpoint.
One of Dalí's greatest and perhaps truest pronouncements is this:

"All great people who realise sensational achievements are impotent."

I can recommend a visit to the Salvador Dalí museum and theatre in Figueres, which is a short trip north of Barcelona.  It exhibits the artist's largest collection of works including sculpture, three-dimensional collages, mechanical devices and custom-made furniture. Dalí is buried in a crypt in the basement of the building. 



Tuesday, January 05, 2010

photo of the day: 1


































Allegedly, Sophia Loren occasionally holidayed in Blackpool. The internationally celebrated star of It Started in Naples, El Cid and Prêt-à-Porter apparently tired of the jet set of Positano on the Neapolitan Riviera, together with the constant attention she received amid the fawning entourage she had acquired. In Blackpool she discovered a destination where she could cast off the trappings of an high profile career and, as she commented in a brief interview with the Blackpool Gazzette, "finally let my hair down." She enjoyed the ambience, the evening passegiatta, the indifference of Lancashire holidaymakers to  box office royalty and the availability of quality iced creams which reminded La Loren of her youth in Pozzuoli.

She is photographed here, barefoot and carefree in a simple dress enjoying the sands of her favoured South Beach. The photograph is undated but appears to be early 1970s according to the hair length of the child in the red sweater to her far-left. Her attention is turned skyward: there is an enigmatic shadow on the sands in front of her which suggests either a mobile amusement ride for small children or perhaps an unusually large bird passing overhead. One imagines that her husband and constant companion, the film director Carlo Ponti who is absent from the scene, was most likely enjoying a nap at the venerable Imperial Hotel situated on North Promenade, a short tram ride away. Lovely.

Monday, January 04, 2010

architecture : first christian church, columbus


































This is the First Christian Church in Columbus, Indiana originally known as the Tabernacle Church of Christ. It was built by the Finnish Architect Eliel Saarinen in 1942.

I am an agnostic but I love this building, which a fine example of mid-century religious architecture. It was, in fact, one of the first churches in the United States to be constructed in a modern style. I like its 'nordic' simplicity and clean lines.  It is built of brick, Indiana limestone with concrete details. The campanile is 166 feet tall and is unornamented except for a grid of semi-translucent plastic panels and a clock of metal numerals. To the west there is a large plaza or courtyard which once had a reflecting pool but due to maintenance problems was removed in 1960 and lawned over. To the front of the building stands a Henry Moore sculpture. The interior of the church is exposed brick and sanded plaster. The floor is carpeted. Charles Eames together with Eliel Saarinen's son, Eero, were commissioned to design and make the interior furniture.

I visited this church in the autumn of 1996 on a roadtrip from Florida to Chicago. It was a case of seeing an air-brushed postcard image and wishing to step into the scene. Columbus -- a city of 40,000 inhabitants -- is an architectural gem as during the first half of the 20th century it invited a number of prominent modernist architects, including I M Pei and Richard Meier, to erect their 'Brave New World' buildings there. There are no malls developed on the outskirts of the city limits as with the vast majority of American towns and small cities. In Columbus, Downtown is still vigorously downtown and the First Christian Church -- designated a National Historic Landmark in 2001 -- is zoned in a transition area between late 19th century / early 20th century homes and the business district.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

edward hopper: western motel (1957)

As mentioned in my previous post, one of my favourite painters is Edward Hopper. Aside from an aesthetic appreciation of realism, he was an artist who lived at a time (and in a place) that was very dynamic, exciting and fuelled by an optimism for the future. Engineering -- the dream of Leviathan in steel -- soared ever upward to meet the true blue of democratic skies, spanning once unfordable waters and chewed up miles of prairie between its locomotive jaws so that the California Zephyr and the Commodore Vanderbuilt could glide onto the marbled Roman concourse of Union Station. With the automobile revolution Americans began to explore their own vast continent: bitumen adventurers in synthetic fabrics driving the wheel into a new and savage topography -- overnighting on atolls of neon and paleolithic airconditioning. Early to mid-century America.

Western Motel
was painted in 1957, which is towards the tail-end of this era. The scale of the room is American. The window exagerrated in a gesture of modernism through which we see a prairie/desert landscape. Hopper strategically places his characters within the frame of the portrait to suggest a certain ambiguity or dualism: tension. It is as if we are seeing a subject just before or after a climactic event. In some of his paintings it seems almost as if the real action is just out of frame -- unseen. This is very cinematic. As with Gas (1940) featured here, the enquiring eye is lead beyond the character at the pumps of a rural gas station and deeper, inwards -- or is it outwards -- around the bend and into the darkness. I have name-checked him a lot in my blogs but I feel that David Lynch must have studied Edward Hopper in terms of composition. Again, it's the framing.

Hopper was often perceived as being a symbolist because the positioning and the expression of his characters often suggested an acute detachment. In retrospect it perhaps suggested an emotional and psychological distancing in a rapidly modernising world that would eventually herald a New World dystopia. However, Hopper's real passion was not symbolism but sunlight. Look at how the western sun hits the wall above the spartan motel bed. I'm sure he thought very hard about this: the intrusion of light.

The subject of this painting stares directly at the viewer: resolute, anticipatory, almost captive. The Buick parked outside -- and which seems to protude from her breast -- is as much an oceanic creature from the depths of the Mariana Trench as it is an automobile. A goggled-eyed green alien. This is why she is still waiting, the suitcases already packed. She is not, in fact, alone. It is not really the viewer she is focused on, but her husband who is photographing this tableau. He holds the keys to the car, mobility, freedom.

gowanus

Gowanus is an overlooked industrial neighbourhood in Brooklyn, New York. It is bordered by Red Hook and Carroll Gardens to the west, Park Slope to the east and is characterised by the Gowanus Canal which, once a busy cargo hub, has declined in tandem with domestic shipping. The canal is heavily polluted and urban legend claims it as a Mafia dumping ground. A character in Jonathan Lethem's detective novel Motherless Brooklyn refers to it as "the only body of water in the world that is 90% guns." As other areas have become re-zoned for residential purposes, Gowanus maintains its identity as a district that continues to offer affordable work spaces to artists and individual businesses. A long-abandoned transit authority power substation in the area has been reclaimed and occupied by squatters and artists who oppose corporatisation by Wall Street. It sits on a site worth $27m but has yet to be re-developed because it's located next to the Russian-style environmental disaster of the aforementioned canal. I'm a libertarian and I believe that empty, abandoned buildings are up for grabs.

A local artist, Ella Yang, has produced a number of oil paintings depicting the urban landscape in and around the Gowanus neighbourhood. The two featured here are from a series titled "Representational oil paintings made in Brooklyn without Irony". Some of these works appeal to me because they offer up a certain romanticism in the way that beauty is revealed in the distinctly ordinary. Her style is American realism, and vaguely redolent of Edward Hopper, one of my favourite painters. For me, sometimes the seduction of a painting lay in its power to produce the wish to step into it. Depictions of urban settings: canals, wharves, warehouses, bridges and streets arrow-straight can have this effect on me in a way that a picturesque mountain pasture never does.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

midwestern gothic: wisconsin death trip (2002)























"Writer/Director James Marsh's first feature, Wisconsin Death Trip, is an intimate, shocking and sometimes hilarious account of the disasters that befell one small town in Wisconsin during the final decade of the 19th century. The film is inspired by Michael Lesy’s book of the same name which was first published in 1973. Lesy discovered a striking archive of black and white photographs in the town of Black River Falls dating from the 1890’s and married a selection of these images to extracts from the town’s newspaper from the same decade. The effect was surprising and disturbing. The town of Black River Falls seems gripped by some peculiar malaise and the weekly news is dominated by tales of madness, eccentricity and violence amongst the local population. Suicide and murder are commonplace. People in the town are haunted by ghosts, possessed by devils and terrorized by teenage outlaws and arsonists.

Like the book, the film is constructed entirely from authentic news reports from the Black River Falls’ newspaper with occasional excerpts from the records of the nearby Mendota Asylum for the Insane. The film also makes use of the haunting black and white photographs taken by the resident portrait photographer of Black River Falls at the end of the 19th century. The film unfolds over four seasons and certain characters feature throughout the film as their criminal behaviour lands them in the newspaper again and again. Mary Sweeney, a cocaine snorting school mistress with a compulsion to smash windows -- The Wisconsin Window Smasher -- who frequently runs amok in the area. Another eccentric is Pauline L'Allemand, a mildly famous opera singer who gets washed up in the town with no means of support and becomes increasingly demented. (I have visited western Wisconsin and  this state of affairs could be termed a 'default setting'.) A 13 year old boy who murders an old man for no apparent motive and then engages in sporadic gun battles with a pursuing posse. All the while, buildings are being torched by an hyper-bored teenage girl, a diptheria epidemic devastates the town’s infant population and all manner of strange suicides are reported in great detail.

Presiding over the chaos of the newspaper stories and providing a linking device for the intricate screenplay is the character of the newspaper editor. The stories from the newspaper are narrated by award-winning actor Ian Holm. Director James Marsh notes “the newspaper was run at the time by an Englishman called Frank Cooper, so Ian was a perfect choice for us - his voice conveys an incredible range of moods - incredulity, moral indignation, sly humour - while remaining both authoritative and soothing."

Wisconsin Death Trip was made over the course of two years by a small documentary crew working with a very tight budget. The film was shot on location in Wisconsin, in each of the four seasons, using existing historical sites across the state. All the actors in the film were recruited from open casting sessions in Wisconsin - most are non-professional and many had never acted at all before their appearance in the film. A great many scenes in the film were improvised, often in sub-zero temperatures, thus the discomfort and bewilderment shown by the actors is usually genuine - and shared by those behind the camera."


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

quentin crisp: an englishman in new york















John Hurt reprises his role as Quentin Crisp in the soon-to-be released and somewhat unimaginatively titled An Englishman in New York. Following his portrayal of Crisp in the British television's outstanding biopic of 1975, The Naked Civil Servant, this second slice of Crisperanto charts the Sultana of Sodom's subsequent relocation to the New York of his dreams, the intial fêteing by early 80s Manhattan celebrities both uptown and downtown -- two distinctly different scenes at that time -- and his fall from grace as a potential LGBT mascot after making the notorious "AIDS is just a fad" declaration. While (unintentionally) cruel and unfortunate, it surely ranks with "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" which is commonly misattributed to Queen Marie-Antoinette. Soon after, he finds his natural -- and even employable -- station in life: reviewer and cineaste.

I have not seen this film yet but have spoken with someone who has seen the preview. Crisp is the buckle-slippered, effete historian (well, he was in his 70s) disseminating his immediate surroundings like an anthropologist from a bygone epoch: floor-bending HI-NRG, amyl-nitrate and the emergence of gay 'clones' -- The Gingham Borg -- in yellow construction hats, raunching it up in a fiesta of technicolour hankie-flailing before the curtain began to fall. There was no Great Dark Man. But there was a Great Dark Disease. And Hurt should know -- he played one to startling effect in Alien (1979).

However, what irks and rings untrue in this depiction of a deflated Crisp in his later years is the 'revelation' that he habitually sent cheques to Elizabeth Taylor in contribution to her AIDS foundation. Whilst charity is always commendable, this has to be a constructed Hollywood fiction to redeem Crisp to an alienated LGBT audience -- with whom he had very little in common in any case -- eliciting a sympathetic re-appraisal of an eccentric and  inconvenient Bohemian who was not 'Winfrey-friendly'. Box office. But, America loves redemption. A revolting habit, in my opinion. Thus he is 're-made'. Crisp was always candid even to the point of self-ruin and his stoicism and his truth -- if not survival -- lay in a complete rejection of sentimentality. I believe that takes immense strength. Essentially it is this, not the maquillage and the ballet pumps that transformed an itinerant, penniless and un-pensionable Chelsea queen into an international cause-cèlébre.

felíz navidad / bon nadal


















Last week, Siberian winds swept over the Pyrenees and down into Iberia, plunging us into sub degree temperatures -- minus 20C in the Sierra Guadarrama north of Madrid -- wind chill factor advisories and carnage on the roads as testosterone wrestled with black ice. The palm trees and the mountains were very photogenic, but town was a disaster: broken pipes, cracked marble, vehicles swerving into each other and the occasional urban avalanche as snow slid off pitched roofs, burying valiant pedestrians. This was an annual event until thirty to forty years ago, so there is quite possibly an argument for climate change. The señora who works in the estanco, the cigarette kiosk, is convinced it's the French.

"¡ Un viento siberiano !"

[Scowling] "¡ No ! Es un viento francés."

I know virtually nothing about climatology but you need only cross the sierra from southern Valencia into northern Alicante to see the evidence that something is indeed happening. Here we have green mountains -- some forested -- rice paddies, orange and lemon groves and the ability to produce almonds, apricots, apples and green vegetables. Over there they may only cultivate olives, and in small number. The land is parched and sandy: the only flora you are likely to see is aloe vera growing by the roadside together with the odd, ejected garment. Why anyone should decide to divest themselves of  their underwear on the A-31 southbound is a provincial mystery, unless there are darker connotations.

It's the desertification of Spain, gradually reaching northward from Almería and Murcia which, in large part, is a North African landscape. In the townhouse urbanisations thrown up to accommodate the discounted Spanish dream of northern European settlers the idyll is rather spoiled in summer by the directive of water conservation. In some areas the water supply is turned off at eight o'clock in the morning and is not reconnected until early evening. Thus, the image of sauntering onto one's terrace in turquoise pedal pushers to a breakfast of fresh bread and conserves is replaced by the post-dawn bickering  -- either side of a bathroom door -- that is the battle of essential toiletry.

"Will you come out of there ?"

"In a minute."
"I haven't got a minute, it's 7:59."

Christmas is almost upon us. In Spain it is a one day event after which, sensibly, we can all go back to our lives. It is not the month-long tyranny of uninterrupted retailing that the British have to endure. To my British compatriots: I sincerely hope that you depose your Prime Minister next year. That someone so unsuited to the international stage, and with the charisma of a butter-fingered, junior book-ledger clerk at a small savings bank should be at the helm of a G8 country is an undiscussable embarrassment. Gordon, I ask you.
I don't really do New Year's. A few drinks with friends. For me it is now a time more of reflection than the whooping Lambeth Walk -- mouth agape, party hat cocked at a rakish angle -- that segues into the infinitely depressing Auld Lang Syne.

If I don't post here before, I wish you all a prosperous and interesting 2010. If, for any of you, life has become a little humdrum I'd like to suggest a simple yet sometimes effective daily variance. Where you might habitually turn left -- turn right. That's how I met Fenella Fielding. 


Friday, November 06, 2009

autofellatio: serialisation of chapters





Due to unforeseen circumstances at 3:AM Press with whom the publishing of Autofellatio was contracted - developments in a broad sense which were not connected to my book, or to me, we have decided to anull the contract. Therefore, I am going to serialise a few chapters online at a dedicated blog while I look for a literary agent and publishing house. Update to follow soon.


Tuesday, November 03, 2009

philippe grandrieux: sombre



Philippe Grandrieux’s Sombre divided the judges at the Locarno Film Festival where it was first shown in 1998. It generated controversy and an official declaration on the part of the panel:

"Half of the jury would like to call attention to Sombre. Our jury split between those who were morally offended by the film and those who saw a purpose in its darkness, and in the strength of its mise-en-scene and images."

Grandrieux’s work encompasses several cinematographic areas: film, documentary, video art and experimental television. He is inspired by the early film theoretician Jean Epstein - whom Luis Buñuel once assisted - the German expressionism of Murnau, Robert Bresson and the Dutch philosopher Spinoza, a rationalist and ‘heretic’ who paved the way for the 18th century Enlightenment. Grandrieux has worked in close collaboration with the French Institut National de l’Audiovisuel (INA) since the 1980s: his mission is not simply to expand the boundaries of film, but rather to transform them. In challenging the central tenets of orthodox film theory, or philosophy even, he hopes to reinvent the language of film – and how we respond to it.

How so? Sombre, Grandrieux’s commercial film debut is a good example. The narrative of Sombre concerns a rather diffident serial killer in Jean (Marc Barbé) who roams the autoroutes of France to asphyxiate women. On one of his Michelin sorties he meets Claire (Elina Löwensohn) and appears to fall in love with her. She is infatuated by the seeming and powerful charisma of his remoteness, detachment and quietness. In truth, although his paraphilia and his murderousness gives him a certain exotic complexity he is, in fact, quite boring. Boring in the sense that his life-force and his energies hinge upon a singular, preoccupational theme: murder. As his next intended victim begins to fall in love with him it poses a real bluebottle in the Clarins dilemma for the serial killer, because the snuffing out of his prey is contingent upon objectifying them. Intimacy may only come during the final act. If it intrudes beforehand, the ‘act of communion’ which is the killer’s distorted expression of love and of power – his ‘transubstantiation’ - is null and voided. And that is the real theme here: transformation.

Grandrieux wishes to transform our perceptions through the experience of watching images on screen. Our experience. This is nothing new. Many a graduate film student who passes through the gates of Beaconsfield Film & Television School or the New York Film Academy harbours a similar ambition. Thank goodness some still do - because a majority are interested solely in commercial Hollywood filmmaking that will 'play' in Peoria, Illinois, whose box office receipts are calculated by nimble fingers that have never known nicotine. Thus, hopefully one is advanced to the sphere of the American Express Platinum Card and the comforting diesel-sonnet of Westinghouse airconditioning. Now, more than ever, it is all about money.

Transformation: Grandrieux is at the opposite end of the spectrum to the pop-corn ‘feel good factor’. The theme of his films orchestrate to visceral effect the rebirth of its protagonists through desires which have broken through the dams of compulsion - and the logical constraints of society - to achieve their end. Whether it is Jean or Claire in Sombre - a stygian, Gitanes-infused psychotic and dystopic love story - or the similarly doomed couple in his later film, La Vie Nouvelle which is a meditation on the desire that must incorporate personal ownership. The message is clear. Grandrieux is interested in cinema, but he is more interested in your ‘insides’. He wants to vibrate your kidneys, knot your intestines, short-circuit your sensory systems and return you to a realm that is like the unknowing, primordial fearfulness of childhood. He wants to radicalise and deliver the audience from being a passive voyeur – or someone who merely wishes only to be entertained - to becoming physically and psychologically involved by his films. The ‘explosions’ take place not only within the frame of the camera but, in his design, they expand and reach beyond the metaphysical constraints of the screen and head directly for your synapses. Depending on your reaction, this is either a search and destroy mission or a sensual love letter.

Grandrieux’s films are about sensuality, in the literal sense. He wants you to experience a cinematic orgasm. He wants to tickle your clitoris and your hippocampus - suspending you between a certain ecstasy and fear; to position you between apprehension, joy and ‘death’. Moreover, he wants your abandonment. The exquisite balance and the play of shadow and darkness that characterises his films reveals light as the essence. Light may only exist through the prism of darkness. The world is in a permanent solar eclipse. When light comes, it illuminates a small detail that gives you an important clue. The hymn of texture leads one to a conclusion. Grandrieux lingers, and he adores. This is all a form of lovemaking. Much of Sombre is slightly out of focus, and it was a deliberate treatment in transmitting the disorganised mind-set of its main character Jean, who may have seen the world in precisely that way. It can frustrate because you cannot always discern what exactly is happening.
Sombre - which I first saw on the seventeenth floor of a Shepherd’s Bush high-rise flat while a midsummer Floridian gale rocked the building – succeeded in frightening me. The reason?  Intimacy. Proximity. There are certain films that one should watch in a darkened room, by oneself. They are engineered to be viewed exactly under those circumstances. Cinema that is not meant to be seen at the cinema.

Grandrieux has been compared to David Lynch. The comparison is based on the idea that both directors believe that once a masterful mood is created - and where it is delicately sustained - by itself it is enough to carry a film. Narrative is a secondary consideration. I agree with this. Italian neo-realism prepared us for it. Sub-narrative can interrupt the flow of communication. In the 21st century where nothing really matters anymore, where there is no past nor future, and where we diligently update our status marquees on social networking sites – we may only be startled by effect. In cinema, atmosphere and mood may sometimes take precedence over story-telling. Narrative becomes irrelevant as the viewer is absorbed and reacts, consciously or subsconsciously to what he or she witnesses. In actuality, through cinema we ascertain a certain truth through dream, abstraction and in the decodifying of that which has passed through the retina and into the mind. It is a kind of plasma screen biblicalism.

Grandrieux has used sound design to great effect. Sound design is important. Soundscape is fundamental in shifting and pitching the mood of the viewer. It can move and unsettle you with its overtone; it precipitates and scores key moments; it contextualises and enrichens the experience. While Lynch creates his filmic dreams, blurring the division of the surreal and reality, reaching the digital-video apotheosis of Inland Empire - which is undoubtedly one of the best films made in the early 21st century – Grandrieux uses a similar technique but in an inverse sense. Physiognamy. It is not out there, it is within. It is all about you. Surrealism is now the refuge of those who are happy to endure ordinary life and and the repast of circumstantial television novellas. That is what surrealism has come to mean. We are now beyond surrealism.
It is
old hat.

The largest question in this century might be "What is reality ?"


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

et prononça ce mot: almería



The pure energy and excitement of this song affected me when I first uncovered it in a secondhand record shop in London's Soho in 1982. It made me want to live in Paris. How many songs make you want to relocate ? In my case, several. The classical strings, the brass and the chorus. Bir Hakeim: the overground metro thundering over the Seine. He wrote it for Brigitte Bardot after their affair had ended. It was recorded in a studio in around 1968 when, amidst the student protests that sent volleys of Molotov cocktails up the Champs Élysées, Charles de Gaulle sought refuge at a German air base and watched as metropolitan France gradually moved from a conservative tradition to a more liberal morality by force of its young populace. Across La Manche, the Swinging Sixties were well under way, dazzling the world with dramatically raised hemlines, rediscovered Mondrianism and an overdose of Vanessa Redgrave. France was not particularly fashionable in the late 1960s. But I like this video because, even in its monochromatic and crude visual effect typical of the time; its attempt at startling diversion - nevertheless it captures the message of the singer through stillness. Stillness. The Gauloise fogged inertia of a smoking, poet protangonist who wears very nice shoes and does not give a fuck. That is a lost art. He does not perform before the camera - the camera performs for him. Serge Gainsbourg.

A chaque mouvement
On entendait
Les clochettes d'argent
De ses poignets
Agitant ses grelots
Elle avança
Et prononça ce mot :
Alméria


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

avant garde alliance: party political broadcast

marianne faithfull

 

"Do me a favour, don't put me in the dark" sings Marianne Faithfull in her best Dickens good-time girl. Ex-resident of Ormskirk, habitué of so many rehab clinics and now Baroness Sacher-Masoch courtesy of her paternal great-great grandfather is infamous as much for her drug dependency and her relationship with Mick Jagger in the mid-1960s as for her music and acting career. Now aged 62, I believe she is never more at her best. Two years living on the streets of Soho in the early 1970s - she slept on a wall (I would like to visit this wall) - and an addiction to heroin and cocaine caused a severe laryngitis that altered the pitch and the timbre of her voice forever. An indignant Sunday Times newspaper journalist once wrote that she had "permanently vulgarised her voice."
As if this were a bad thing.

Nobody wants to hear the convent-educated Marianne of "This Little Bird" - we want the raw expression and emotionality of someone who has track-marked themselves out of the possibility of continuing addiction, who has lived without telephone, electric light and  curling tongs, and whom has recorded this song.
It is taken from the Broken English album released in 1979, although I didn't hear it until the summer of 1982 while in Paris. Adapted from a poem written by the poet and playwright Heathcote Williams and set to a 4/4 tango rhythm it is a mistresspiece of sexual jealousy and poisonously barbed spite. It caused a certain controversy. A female using the word cunt, let alone in popular song, is an act of transgression and it simply isn't on, don't you know. 
I cannot imagine any another artist being able to deliver this song with such conviction and unsentimentality. Of course, Ms Faithfull has lived it. Some of the lyrics are explicit - this is quite possibly the very first rap song - yet when expressed with such cracked candour, authenticity and glorious weltschmerz, 'profanity' is not profanity at all. It is poetry.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

madrid


Last weekend I went to Madrid. It was my 49th birthday and I was determined not to spend it sat in an orthopaedic armchair looking out of the window, smiling benevolently at children. So I went to the travel agency to book train tickets with RENFE. I waited 30 minutes while someone who'd come into town on his tractor was trying to negotiate a refund on a Mediterranean cruise because his entire party came down with food poisoning while the boat was still actually docked at Barcelona. But cruises aren't really about travelling. Cruises are monumental all-day buffets with Naples slipping past, unnoticed, in the background. Eventually, when I was served, the assistant - a brittle young woman, a Nazi in a company cravat - responded to my request for train tickets as if I were asking her to arrange a fully inclusive, smoking holiday to the Moon.

"We can book the tickets, but we can't print them out. They have to be posted from Valencia", she explained, as if I were seven.
"Then why am I standing here?"
In other words, I can book them on the internet and print out the tickets on A4 paper -- but she can't, and she's a travel agent.

Madrid is a different animal to Barcelona. It's resolutely continental: sat on an high plain with slate in place of terracotta and not a palm tree in sight. An inferno in summer, Siberian in winter. It is a northern city. The outskirts reminded me of The Bronx. Blocks of austere, functional social housing retreating to the horizon; six-lane avenues criss-crossed by motorways and overground train lines; smog. I think that when Madrid rapidly expanded in the 1960s and 1970s they must have looked to America for the model of how it should be done. It does not look European, or even particularly Spanish. The centre of the city is Beaux Arts and Art Deco splendour; its streets teeming with Castilian and South American faces; its metro evokes Hispanic colonialism: Buenos Aires, Tetuán, Cuzco, Colombia, Guzmán El Bueno. If you have seen his films, it's almost impossible not to think of Pedro Almodóvar when one is there b
ecause he has immortalised, and satirised, Madrid perfectly.

My stay was brief and I decided to visit the contemporary art museum, Museo Reina Sofía, which had an interesting exhibition of the British architect Richard Rogers, complete with scale models of his past and future projects. I can understand why people get excited about scale model architecture because it always appears so utopian and fantastic. Far better than real life. Saturday evening I had an excellent, three-course meal with half-a-bottle of Rioja for only 8 euros at an unpretentious, small yet welcoming restaurant in the Chueca called El Comunista. It was packed with Madrileños and I believe I was the only non-native Spaniard in the place. The women on the adjacent table looked at me with bald curiosity to see what I was going to do with my bread basket before the first course arrived. I pour equal amounts of olive oil and vinegar onto the side-plate, then sprinkle it liberally with pepper. I then break the bread apart and use this as a dip. I think it's an Andalucian custom, because they don't do it in Valencia nor in Castille. It is a ritual of the lone diner, because you can't pretend to reorder the contacts list on your mobile phone forever while waiting for an adequate flan.

On Sunday I visited the Jardín Botánico and afterwards went to the Retiro park and drank coffee while reading the colour supplement of El País. My neighbours - an English couple in their fifties who evidently worked in Madrid - were lunching with visiting friends. In Spain there are two lunches: the first one between 10am and 11am (almuerzo) and the second one between 2pm and 4pm (la comida). He droned on from arsehole to breakfast time about some tedious aspect of middle management strategy while his partner, a confection of low-lighted streaks and a top that was far too décolleté for her particular station, chirped away about shopping possibilities. Anyway, she was careless with her coleslaw and they were dive-bombed from every direction - in two seconds flat - by an army of urban sparrows, consequently deserting their table in a Thames Estuary panic. 

It was Tippi Hedren.
It was Almodóvar.
Madrid did not fail me.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

un año de amor



The first film is by an Italian singer called Mina (Mazzini) who was a dominant figure on the charts of her native country during the 1960s and 1970s. She was noted both for the agility of her soprano voice and her image as an emancipated woman. Here, in 1965, she sings the original song later performed and popularised by Spain's Luz Casal. The subtlety of the original lyrics  - adapted by Casal - is a more sensual evocation; more essential because its naked passion wears an highly inflammable post-war peignoir. Passion, in pre-1980s Spain, was not merely discouraged by El Caudillo but in some cases a prosecutable act. People could not throw parties without first informing the Guardia Civil a week beforehand. Crowds potentially breed insurgent behaviour. And the spontaneous dancing of homosexuals.

Mina is intense, memorable and strikes some inspired profile poses that remind one of Françoise Hardy and Sandie Shaw's early Epic label days, as in the rare mono experience of  Long Walk Home. Mina's relationship with the camera is interesting in the way that she distances herself from it with  silhouetted privacy and a certain stillness. (Stillness, in cinema, is always the key.) The head slightly bobs in a way that tells us that she was  once the doyenne of late night Milanese coffee bars, but she is within the song. Most artists never do this - it goes entirely against their nature. As anyone testifying to the sight of Mick Jagger trying to occupy a square-kilometre of stage, simultaneously, will tell you. Mina was a good actress, and an Italian amante who challenged the Vatican with her dyed blonde hair, smoking habits and taking up with married men. She was banned from the Italian airwaves, yet her popularity prevailed and the RAI had to make a U-turn.




In the second film we see the Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar's representation of this popular song as performed by Miguel Bosé in the film "Tacónes Lejanos" ("High Heels").

Recordarás estos días felices

Recordarás el sabor de mis besos
E intentarás en solo momento
Que significa un año de amor

This is contemporary Spain and the tranvestite or drag queen has publicly reclaimed the sentiments and the experience of this song as her own. In this clip Bosé playing the character of Letal performs the song to Marisa Paredes (as Becky de Páramo) in the vertically-enhanced image of her as his idol as she appeared in the 1960s. His stylistic interpretation is far more provocative than the original Páramo would have been allowed to be. She approves. Enjoys it, even. If that were someone's impression of me, I'd probably buy the next round of drinks and throw in some chicken-in-a-basket.


The drag queen is often  construed as parody - and some are - but I don't see it as always being the case. The drag queen, who has been with us since possibly before the dawn of time, is not always an highly crayoned - and padded - interpretation of a genetic female.  Some drag queens are neither "male" nor "female" -- but a force majeure. They're the ones we remember.

The Spanish word for transvestitite is "travesti" - which comes off like "travesty". In Spanish "parodia". Parody. Therefore, technically, and according to Latin, if you're a drag queen you are - by virtue of  definition - incapable of originality. This might well be the circular conundrum of the Venetian crossdresser. While Latin is a very solid language it sometimes smacks of inflexibility.



Monday, September 28, 2009

autofellatio: 1976


















Ahora expuesto como un arquitecto de engaño transparente, me retorcí en ébéniste jacobino cuando el Doctor Friskney comenzó a recitar mis cartas al Sr. Potter.

“Querido Sr. Potter
Lamentablemente, James no podrá asistir a la escuela durante una semana porque ha sido diagnosticado por el doctor  de impétigo avanzado del labio inferior que, como sabrá, es muy contagioso.”
Sra Maker.”

“Querido Sr. Potter

El impétigo ahora se ha extendido rápidamente al labio superior y sus environs [alrededores] inmediatos. La pomada se le  aplica tres veces al día, pero durante este tiempo, lo sentimos es  poco aconsejable permitirle que vuelva a la escuela al menos durante otra semana. Estámos preocupados por su nariz. 
                                                
Sra Maker.”


Mi madre preguntó: - ¿Qué significa 'environs'? –


Imprudentemente, me reí. Tres pares de ojos se fijaron
en mi con una mirada glacial. Era la segunda reunión con el principal de la escuela primaria que yo asistía. Odié cada ladrillo que construyó aquella escuela y, recíprocamente, esta me odió a mi. Tenía que viajar en dos autobuses y dos trenes por una red de transporte desintegrada para llegar hasta allí.

El Doctor Friskney fue un incordio, con callos del
tamaño de granadas que insistió en invitar a su hija desconcertada para atender a pruebas de deportes. Ella tenía una ambiopía, así que el bádminton competitivo tuvo que ser una verdadera lucha para poder disfrutar. La cosa era seria: una infracción más y me deberían haber expulsado. En los seis meses anteriores decidí a apartarme un tiempo de la prisión de máxima seguridad
que me educaba y pasé mis vacaciones viajando en un tren de cercanías. Como las parcelas de suicidio de Selsdon cedieron el paso al desierto de Betjeman, pasé las horas atiborrándome del chocolate barato, leyendo a Jacqueline Susann y Radclyffe Hall. 

- Tengo otras  nueve cartas - dijo Friskney, dirigiéndose a mí con una mezcla de la desaprobación y la diversión astuta de alguien que sabe que te tiene pendiente sobre

el abismo.

- Evidentemente, eres un cuentista. Estudiarás latín para
el próximo mes -
Latín. Yo prefería trabajar en la cadena de producción de
una fábrica de alpiste, separando las cáscaras, a memorizar las declinaciones de una lengua muerta.

La primera vez que estuve expulsado fué debido a que puse en el torno - durante la clase metalistería - el pelo de un admirador de Alice Cooper, con ayuda de John Galliano, adolescente que más tarde hizo la causa-celebre de la alta costura Parisiense. Esta acción fue provocada, no por el hecho simple de que el chico rechazó escuchar a "Frankenstein" por las New York Dolls, sino también porque su pelo era más largo que el mío. Consiguientemente, todos los alumnos que asistieron a clase de metalistería fueron obligados a llevar una redecilla por cortesía del Consejo de Educación. La vista de treinta alumnos que luchaban con aquella complejidad elástica era divertidísima, y yo fuí el Enemigo Público Número Uno hasta el día que me la marchaba.

Además, hubo un incidente cuando Galliano visitó al capellán escolar en su oficina en el primer piso para hablar de un asunto espiritual. Subí a un adyacente saliente  estrecho de la ventana, andando atrás y adelante – y detrás de la cabeza del  capellán – como si yo fuera un comprador indeciso. Cuando Friskney anunció esta nueva ordenanza de

seguridad de la etapa en la asamblea comencé a reírme sin control y fuí escoltado fuera, o mejor dicho arrastrado a la fuerza por dos soldados de infantería cristiana – uno de ellos el que yo había seducido un año antes en el campo de estudios de la escuela en Gales.
Sin embargo, se me ocurre que en mi escuela cada alumno tenía, y probablemente todavía debe, ponerse una redecilla por mi obsesión agresiva de las New York Dolls.
Esto, considero que es mi contribución a la guerra de Punk.

En un sentido fuí al menos salvado, en que nadie había adivinado el hecho que a menudo bajaba del tren en Forest Hill, antes de llegar a mi  casa, para quedar con mi novio recién estrenado. Dave tenía veintiséis años y era instalador de moquetas. Naturalmente, tenia  

permiso de conducir. Yo he nacido para ser pasajero, ya que no soy un motorista y esto es mi primer requisito en alguien que desea ofrecerme la amistad. Estas citas secretas, que duraron casí un año, fueron estrictamente ilegales por su parte y si las hicieran salir a luz pues seguramente habría sido detenido con el placer de su majestad.

Me gusta aquella frase: implica que la Reina británica saca la satisfacción a la vista de la gente que encarcelaba. Una vez me llevó a Putney como asistente - otra ausencia del registro escolar - pero tropecé con un rollo de Axminster que se desplegaba, embistiendo de cabeza hacia una vitrina de cristal atesorada. Milagrosamente, yo salí ileso aunque su dueño aullaba de pena, inútilmente tratando de reparar dos piezas de una copa flauta de su 25 aniversario de Boda.

Me mandó  sentarme en el coche y jugar con el encendedor. Nosotros rompimos cuando lo descubrí besando alguien más en el cuarto superior del pub de Green Man en la  Calle de Great Portland. Lancé mi Gin-tonic en su cara y me marché, ampliamente protegido por el séquito de las Elephant & Castle Boot Girls. Siguió el enfado y trató de chocar contra nosotros con su Vauxhall Viva, subiendose al bordillo en una tentativa de matarme. Sabíamos  tener pasión en aquellos días.

El verano 1976 hacia una ola de calor. Los pavimentos de Londres chisporrotearon con un calor desconocido desde que el Rey George V se tiraba pedos en el trono, ocasionando una plaga de hormigas volantes que abundaron en ejércitos por las grietas, entre las losas. Asfalto horneado y ablandado. Cada día fue un día perfecto para secar las ropas en las cuerdas de Brixton  y fueron adornadas con un technicolor de pantalónes acampanados y chalecos tiernamente personalizados. Reggae salía por los altovoces de los coches a todo volumen, vibrando los riñones de los peatones que pasaban. Los afros se multiplicaron cada vez más altos para desafiar a la gravedad, cada exponente compitiendo hacerse el Ejemplo Fino. La piel negra manó en minishorts amarillos ácidos que languidecieron en el capó de un Ford Capri. Al pasar por las viviendas adosadas no fumigadas que una vez fueron magníficas, muchachas fumaban, reajustando su pelo sin parar. Los estéreos resonaron por ventanas abiertas con el sonido de las Sex Pistols: visceral, violento e implacable; las guitarras neumáticas que atestan los oídos de oyentes confiados con el equivalente de audio de polla dura. En la radio, "TVC15" por David Bowie - alucinógena y disparatada - combatía por cobertura radiofónica y la civilization con Maureen McGovern y "The Continental". Estuve presente en el nacimiento y en el entierro de la discoteca.

Los sábados marcaron la peregrinación por la King's Road en Chelsea que fue, si no el nacimiento de Punk, pues su Broadway. La juventud suburbana y semidislocada entraron en tropel aquí de todos los puntos cardinales para hacer compras en su mercado de ropa, arriesgandose en el templo santo de Vivienne Westwood - la boutique Seditionaries - e impresionar a los contribuyentes burgueses de Sloane Square con su despreocupación, nihilismo y sus imperdibles. Pero sobre todo vinieron para ser vistos. Pienso que el clamor popular de punk era más una revolución suburbana en vez de una que se originaba desde el centro. Aquellos que vinieron de la periferia o del quinto pino de una experimento socialista y de la bancarrota  necesitaron la rebelíon más que nadie. El punk fue un movimiento de música pero sin política, a menos que pienses que la anarquía sea un sistema de creencia, y esto quedó en nada después de tres años, se acabó.

Sin embargo, el Punk nos dió una herencia importante: alguien podría formar un grupo. Incluso yo. La actitud era todo que importaba y para ser un músico ya no se requirió que entendiese como tocar un acorde de tercera disminuida. No se puede adivinar a qué se parecería el paisaje musical hoy si la Revolución de Punk nunca hubiera sucedida.  Seguramente, Rap - que a mi parece el equivalente de Punk en el árbol genealógico - nunca podría haber sido inventado. Una metáfora moderna corporativa para el Punk sería los Vikingos que vuelven para despojarnos de nuestra cretona, convertiendo nuestras sensibilidades atrás a la sencillez y el funcionalismo, y era de tan gran alcance como la reconquista sueca de los 1980.

Vagué por la King's Road en mis sandalias plásticas, bolsos de Oxford y camiseta Ramones con Tony. Tony era un chico anglo turco que compartió mi entusiasmo por David Bowie y T Rex y a quien encontré como un amigo de la escuela primaria. La  anglicanización de su nombre de Tahir le quedó bien porque parecía como un Tony Curtis jovencito. Era ligeramente más corto que yo, un poco más rollizo, de naturaleza alegre y con un sentido del humor penetrante. Vivió en Ilderton Road con su madre temible – al encontrarla ví por qué el imperio otomano se hizo tan poderoso. Fuimos buenos amigos y holgazaneábamos en la tienda de cuero ubicada en el mercado de King's Road que era frecuentado por punks, gays y fetichistas.

Los propietarios eran un par de teatreras que tenían cuarenta años y conocidos como Sr. y Srs. Fenner. El Sr. Fenner era masculino en el estilo gay de San Francisco: bigote, pelo corto pero saliendo del mostrador a revelar chaparreras de piel. La Sra. Fenner era una marica de mucha pluma y la primera persona que encontré que fuera 'genéticamente afeminada'. Para algunos, la vida es vivida como un esbozo de comedia prolongada del que ellos - y nosotros - son incapaces de escaparse. Sobrepeso y permanentemente sin aliento, se martirizó con la trombosis de vena profunda. La personalidad había sido rendida hace mucho tiempo al objetivo del entretenimiento público. Cada oración pronunciada comenzó y se terminó con exclamación - que es enormemente fatigoso, sobre todo para el oyente. Sin embargo, era la matriarca y consejera a los abandonados y mohicanos que no compraron nada pero se tendieron sobre la mercancía como vivas decoraciones.

Sus primeras palabras dirigidas a mí fueron:
- ¡¿por qué es tan interminable mi castigo?!

Una pregunta que prohibía contestar como claramente adoró cada minuto insoportable de ello. Sentí como si estuviera atrapado en la fila delantera del circo del miedo: hipnotizado por una cobra de la marioneta cuyos ojos no podían ser acomodados por sus cuencas.

- ¡Trombosis a mi edad! Solo tengo 35 años! Nunca sabrás la agonía! -

Hizo una pausa al susurrar a una costurera itinerante belga llamada Yvette que trabajaba detrás de una cortina pesada que la escondió de la Oficina de Extranjeros. Entonces, inclinándose a través del mostrar se me confió:

-  ¡ No digas nada al Sr. Fenner pero no sé cuanto podré yo seguir así ¡ ¿puedes tú explicarme por qué es tan interminable mi castigo? -

No sé que fue del Sr. y Sra. Fenner, si fueron arrastrados por aquel contagio horrible de los años 1980 que nos robaba tantas lumbreras de la moda, o si abrieron una tienda en el Castro, no hay contestación. Lo que sé es que el mercado ya no existe. Los punks comenzaron a dispersarse antes de desaparecer totalmente, retirándose al lugar de dónde vinieron para hacer una nueva generación de padres. Aquellos que siguieron luchando la batalla se murieron de sobredosis, se quedaron calvo, o avanzaron en un medio de comunicaciónes que rápidamente globalizó el mundo.

El otoño llegó con tormentas impresionantes. De repente, las sandalias plásticas que una vez me aseguraban viaje a través de Londres se deshicieron. El primer trimestre entró en el calendario y llegó 'Disco Mysticism' en forma de canción implacable de Abba: “Dancing Queen”. “Dancing Queen” no es simplemente una canción, sino una tiranía y un implemento de tortura muy eficaz.

- Tu eres la reina del baile, joven y dulce, sólo cuarenta y seis años -

Ya comenzaba el último año escolar.


©
James Maker 2009
English version of this chapter extract available here.